Becoming a Peaceful Alpha

by Jesse Sternberg, author of Enlightened Dog Training

In my early twenties, I was reading a lot of Deepak Chopra, and his wisdom from the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga gave me the faith and the courage to start my own business. In his book, he invited readers to follow their hearts, be of service, do what they love, and trust that the Universe will take care of the rest.

I knew that I loved dogs. Their energy always uplifted my spirit. Back then, I suffered from anxiety and depression, and the joy of being around dogs calmed my heart. Diving head first into my dream of working with them, I decided to trust Deepak (and the Universe). I opened a dog daycare and grooming business in Toronto, Canada, and soon everything in my life began to change.

I started my journey into the world of canines by researching the traditional sources of authority on dogs: puppy parents at the park, breeders, veterinarians, reality shows, and groomers. Though they were incredibly experienced with canine wisdom, I felt that there was something more. I consumed every training book I could get my hands on. I studied what the monks of Newskete did with German shepherds; how to “Be the Pack Leader,” according to The Dog Whisperer, with Cesar Millan, a celebrity dog trainer with a show on National Geographic; and how Jesus would raise a dog, if he had one, by the author of the best-seller The Original Dog Whisperer, Paul Owens. I spent countless hours immersing myself in videos online, scrutinizing all the various modalities I could find, including positive reinforcement, rally competitions, obedience, search and rescue, special needs therapy and schutzhund (a competitive form of guard-dog protection).

By experimenting with many different modalities in my dog daycare business, I quickly began to see that no single methodology worked reliably or consistently. Different dogs within the same breed would often respond unpredictably to the same training styles. In fact, the truest thing I noticed was that as more dogs were introduced into the equation, the less any of the training techniques seemed to work. There was something about the modern idea of “dog training” that just wasn’t delivering the results I was expecting.

Observing groups of dogs together at the leash-free dog park, or in my daycare, it was easy enough to see that canines are able to communicate silently and respectfully with one another. I’d often wonder if every dog owner wanted to know how to have a real conversation with their dog. I couldn’t have been the only one.

Discovering the Secret Language of Dogs

In the spring of my second year in business, there was a perfect storm of events that forever changed the course of my life. It had been torrentially raining for several days, and most of our clients were unable to walk their dogs in the mornings. The bad weather brought in tons of new daycare dogs, and fortunately for business (but unfortunately for my anxiety), we got a lot busier. A manage[1]able pack of 15 dogs had suddenly swelled to 36 maniacal furry beasts.

The dogs were literally bouncing off the walls. There seemed to be no end to their lunging, jumping, barking, scratching, squeaking, attacking each other, and defecating everywhere! My stress levels were reaching an all-time high. None of the training modalities I had been studying were successful in calming or controlling a pack of that size. In fact, every time we tried to connect with the dogs using traditional methods, it inflamed the energy of the room, making the pack even more hyper and unpredictable. My biggest fear, that someone’s dog would get injured in my care (or die), cycled uncontrollably through my thoughts.

Sitting in my office, taking a moment of reprieve from the noisy pack, I heard a few sounds that put me over the edge. Bang. Squeal. Silence. The sequence of these sounds scared me sober. It unexpectedly brought me into a state of pure presence. It felt like the transcendental experience I had read about in my Buddhist studies, but to date had only caught minor glimpses of in my meditation practice. When I entered the main play room to investigate what I had just heard, I saw everything with a fresh mind. I realized that Izzy, our best client (a young but incredibly hyper chocolate lab), was chasing other dogs at lightning speed. Like a hockey player who uses the boards to stop, she had intentionally slammed herself into the wall to change her momentum. Luckily she was okay. The bad news? She blew a hole in the drywall and completely disrupted the business next door.

Somewhere between laughing and crying, my experience of space-time seemed to bend into a new reality. The voice in my head quieted, sounds became clear, and I could suddenly feel the dog’s emotions as if they were my own. As clear as day, I observed the dogs in the pack communicating with each other in their own way. Henry, the old golden retriever, was yawning at the puppies—not because he was tired but to calm them down and reassure them. In dog language, the yawn can be used (among other things) as a social signal to encourage relaxation. Marge, the shih tzu, looked away from the other dogs as she peed. Not because she was shy, but because this angle tells the other dogs to give her some space and peace.

The realm of feelings is where true animal communication takes place. I realized that dogs make quirky little gestures on purpose because it generates emotions. By using specific angles, postures, timing, and sounds, dogs have actually developed their own vocabulary. As humans, we have never really had to tap into this, but I assure you, the potential is there for us to harness it.

Learning to communicate with dogs using this Secret Language of Dogs was actually much simpler than it sounds. The best part about it is that it meant I now had a way to communicate to every dog that came into my establishment. Rather than spending all my time training dogs, I could simply talk to them in their own language. That old saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” suddenly lost all merit. My use of the Secret Language of Dogs generated results for me that were hundreds of times better than the conventional conditioning methods I had been studying.

Transformational Effects

As I began experimenting with my ideas about this Secret Language of Dogs, I noticed all animals in nature communicated in this fashion in some way or another. Wolves, bears, and coyotes lick their lips to express Calming Signals. Cows, moose, even birds avoid direct eye contact, unless being intentionally confrontational. Squirrels are masters of the angles, and you can always spot an alpha of any species by their casual use of the posture of protection. The les[1]sons I was learning from this secret language didn’t just apply to dogs, they actually worked on humans as well.

As for my clients, they started to comment on how clean the daycare was becoming and how calm their dogs were when they went home. Customers sensed something special was happening. I was connecting to a new pack every day and oftentimes transforming over 30 “bad” dogs at a time. These dogs would come in crazy and go home as zenned-out, obedient dogs. The most rewarding part about it was that these dogs genuinely loved me, and they also respected me. By communicating with them on their own wavelength, I was able to lead them, make them feel safe, and earn their respect. Naturally, when I commanded them, they listened in ways that made their owners curious. The same clients started asking me to help them with private training, and the effects they experienced were just like mine.

At the time I did not think that I was teaching my clients anything radical—simply learning how to tune into the realm of feelings is often the hardest part. With a little effort and some guidance, they were quickly identifying that most of their dog’s bad behaviors originated when their dog feels too excited or too scared. The brilliance of the Secret Language of Dogs is its clarity. It is like learning how to speak in your dog’s native tongue. As my private clients mastered the secret language, they found that their dogs started to treat them differently. They started to respect their owner’s pres[1]ence and desired to listen to their authority.

As my clients gained experience, they were able to connect with their dogs in new ways and do all kinds of remarkable things they had only ever dreamed about. They could open the front door, and not only would their dog not attempt to escape it would calmly fan away from the door and lie down. They learned how to walk their dogs with a loose leash, and some of them with even no leash. When they called their dog, it listened. When they told the dog not to touch their tuna sandwich, it didn’t even dare look at it. Inevitably, a big shift started to take place. My clients began trusting their dogs more (and worrying less), and they also became calmer, wiser, and more compassionate in the process. It’s like their dog was teaching them to become a better person.

The key to all of this was the meditative approach they were taking to connect with their dogs. The more peaceful and attuned they were to their own emotional energy, the more receptive they became to the communication signals coming back to them from their dog. As they did this, my clients would not only become the Peaceful Alpha their dog both needed and respected, they also became a grounding, supporting, loving leader to their family and friends. For many, their health improved, their careers blossomed, and their personal and professional relationships flourished.

In essence, all of our dogs’ behaviors are really just a reflection in some way of our own unconscious emotional baggage. As you take focused action in improving your dog’s behavior, you can’t help but grow into the Peaceful Alpha that both you and your dog have always dreamed of you becoming.

Meditation

Your Dog Is Your Guru

Sit comfortably, or rest on your back. Allow your breath to flow naturally. Just be still, and channel your attention into your body as it breathes away on its own. Be a watcher. When your dog lies in stillness on its side, resting in a patch of light coming through the window, it is being a watcher. Watch the sensations you are feeling come and go like waves in the ocean. Feel them now, know that they will soon flow away. Know that there’s another layer of consciousness you will soon be accessing.

Resist any urge to dissect your emotions and try to figure them out. Your dog lives in the languageless realm of feeling sensations, and in a little time, you will join them there. Allow the talking mind to exhaust its efforts while you observe it in nonjudgment. Cultivate the discipline to stay with sensations as you forge a new kind of power born from nonreactivity. Come back to your breath. Come back to the feeling sensation of your lungs expanding and contracting. Focus your attention and feel your breath.

A guru is a very special teacher for a meditation practitioner. Their teachings arrive when you’re ready to receive them. This often happens as you experience life together. Your dog is a master in conscious awareness, an expert in the art of present-moment living, and of experiencing joy, peace, and ease. Maybe the very reason your dog is here is so that they can bestow these virtues upon you. Your dog’s presence and energy have the wisdom to elevate your emotional intelligence and bring you internal peace. Ponder this sacred relationship while you remain in meditation. Stay here for as long as you like.